What Self-care Really Means

I love this so much and I know now, after many years of searching for what I thought would give me rest, that what actually helps me renew and refresh and take care of myself are the things that make me feel most like myself.

As much as a girls’ retreat or a week-long vacation would be nice, the constant expectation that that’s what it will take to truly be able to rest is just setting myself up for failure. For a long time I lived for the weekend mornings when I had time to get out of the house or I couldn’t wait for the kids to be in school so I could finally have a “break.” But what I didn’t realize was even though I had the break I thought would refuel me, often times I would feel even more stressed!

Now I get it.

Self-care isn’t always about manicures or vacations or massages. Not all the time. And truthfully, I don’t even like nail salons! I know. Crazy!

Instead, self-care is about the daily, weekly, and seasonal practices we make a habit of doing to remember what makes us feel alive and full of joy.

Kendra also stresses the importance of scheduling these things. Like actually writing them on the calendar and then making yourself do them. Don't tell yourself there are more important things to do. You need rest. You need to feel like yourself. You need to do this so you can pour your best energy into the people you love the most.

Here are the things that I’ve learned make me feel like myself:

-Singing

I don’t mean humming a tune as I feed Colton his bottle. I mean, full-on, singing at the top of my lungs in the car to music I listened to in my younger years. Think Jessica Andres and Leann Rimes. Anyone else?! It makes me feel carefree and transports me back to a time when I only thought I had responsibilities (ha!)

-Uninterrupted deep cleaning

I’m talking the takes-an-hour-or-more-deep-cleaning-need-a-shower-afterwards kind of cleaning. And I don’t want to be interrupted, which means I definitely can’t do this kind of thing during the week. But every so often I NEED that time. I put on my dingy clothes, a good podcast, and get after it. Kids screaming? Can’t hear them. Someone needs to be wiped on the potty? Nope. Can’t do it! I’m cleaning! ;)

-Exercise

Any kind of movement where I get a good sweat on makes me feel good and alive. This has actually been harder to fit in at this stage of life than I thought it would be. Sleep trumps a workout these days, but that will soon change. I’m also making excuses. I could totally do something during the day, but I just choose other things from this list instead and skip the need to take two showers a day!

-Reading a good novel

I always have at least 237 books going at one time. It’s kind of a problem. I love all things parenting, homeschooling, educational theory, etc. But sometimes I need to force myself to dig to the bottom of my piles to find a good fiction book to take me away. I may stay up until three in the morning and be bleary-eyed the next day, but it’s totally worth it.

-Toes Up. Every day.

I got this phrase from an amazing mentor of mine a few years ago whose friend had shared it with her. This means that I actually have to SIT down for at least fifteen minutes of the day. Get it? Toes UP!

I do this during the kids’ rest time even when I have a million other things I could be doing. Sometimes I nap, sometimes I read, and sometimes I just stare at the ceiling in the quiet. It’s so necessary and when I don’t take the time for it I definitely feel the difference in my patience in those wonderful afternoon hours before dinner

-Creating/Writing

As crazy as it is, I love to make teaching materials to use with the boys. Yes, I could take three minutes and download or buy something online. But it’s just not the same! I love the satisfaction I get from starting with a blank white screen or page and then seeing the final product, whether it’s sentences to practice word families or a math practice sheet that totally doesn’t need clip art but I will spend five minutes adding clip art to because it brings me joy. Weird? Probably. But that’s me!

And I love writing. I just like to get words out of my head and onto paper, or in this case the screen.

So these are the things that bring me joy and help me to feel like Kelly. Not mom, not wife, not homeschooling mama, just KELLY. When I take the time, even if it’s just a few minutes a day, like I’m taking right now to write this post, I feel like myself. I feel more ready to take on the challenges that I know will test my patience.

What makes you feel alive? What things will you schedule into your life this week to make you feel more like yourself?