Our Homeschool Rule of 5

Lately I have been feeling the pull of comparison weighing me down.

I’ve found so many amazing homeschooling accounts to follow on Instagram and Facebook and the influx of ideas and inspiration has been exciting, but honestly, a little exhausting.

I’ve had to really pull myself away and refocus on our purpose.

Knowing that there are so many others out there who are doing the homeschooling thing and rocking it is encouraging and I love finding these amazing people to follow, but the truth is every family is different and every single homeschool looks different.

What our family values and believes, another family might not. And THAT is the beauty of homeschooling! We can all do our thing in our own way.

But I’m human and that little comparison gremlin can sneak up on me and before I know it I find myself doubting what we are doing, feeling like I’m not doing enough, or sometimes just feeling like an outright failure.

Not a valuable way to spend my time.

I remember when I first started really digging into the nitty-gritty of homeschooling, I listened to a Circle with Sarah on RAR Premium about The Rule of 6. I know this came from a book that someone wrote but I’m too lazy right now to look it up right now!

The point was to think of the six most important things we wanted to be sure happened in our homeschool most days. The non-negotiables. The things that if everything else fell apart we would make sure happened.

I sat down for a minute earlier and rewrote out the things Jeff and I had decided we wanted to focus on. And we didn’t even come up with 6! Here are the five things we agreed were most important for our homeschool at this point in time:

Relationships and Connection

The very most important thing to our family is our relationships with each other. We want our kids to be friends, to enjoy each other, to appreciate each other, to know how to handle conflict with each other--all the joyful and difficult things that come along with being in a relationship.

Yes, they will have friendships and relationships outside of our family (and do now. I promise we don't live in a box!), but for right now, home is the training ground in which they will learn and practice the skills that will help them develop healthy relationships with others later.

Learning to take responsibility for their actions, noticing how their actions affect others, apologizing, learning to serve others, appreciating the differences in personalities, all of these important aspects of being in a relationship are challenging and not easy to apply. But being home together for most of the day, most days of the week provides LOTS of practice. ;)

And as their parents, we also want to spend our time building genuine relationships with them. We want to live life in such a way that we have time to slow down, look into their eyes, read the book again, and again, and again, and cuddle and kiss them all day long. We want to know their quirks, their likes and dislikes, all the things that make them the unique little humans they are. We want to spend time watching them, savoring them at each age and stage and truly enjoy them.

Devotions and Bible

We wanted to homeschool so that we could teach through a Christian worldview and have time to learn about our Lord. We need time to read the Bible every day, learn more about Jesus, memorize scripture, and infuse as much biblical wisdom as possible in these early years when their brains are sponges and lay a solid foundation for when their faith will be tested later in life.

I play ALL the corny Steve Green music we can handle, we read lots of different children’s devotionals throughout the day, and we take time to see and appreciate the world as the masterpiece God created-with all the fluffy clouds and weird creatures and delicious food he gave us to enjoy.

We want scripture hidden in their little hearts and their biblical treasure chests full so they know that they were created by our Lord for a purpose and that their lives have meaning.

Reading Aloud

So much research has shown that being read aloud to is one of the biggest predictors of academic success. And I believe it. I can’t say I believed it at first, but I sure as heck do now. I can SEE the results of all the reading we do in the way the boys speak and play. But reading aloud takes time. Sometimes I feel the pull to be doing something else, even something academic instead of reading aloud, and I have to remind myself just how important it is.

Reading aloud fills their brains with words, phrases, and the elements of story.

I don’t need to give them a speech about being proactive, we can read a book about it.

I don’t have to plan a science lesson. We can read about whatever it is I want to share with them.

Reading aloud is the anchor of our days and is the real meat of our “school” without the boys even realizing they are learning.

It’s magic.

PLAY

Play is a huge, huge, huge reason we wanted to homeschool. We want our kids to have a slow, rich childhood and having time to play- outside as much as possible- is hugely important.

Boredom also fits in here. We want there to be so much free time that the kids have to come up with their own ways of playing. I have loved seeing this aspect develop over the time we have been home. When we first started and we weren’t used to being home for such long periods of time I would feel the need to give them ideas of what to do or even put out certain toys for them. But now, they spend hours outside in their own little worlds. It’s so much fun to watch.

Character Training and Habits

This is a huge area that requires SO MUCH TIME and attention. This is the part that exhausts me the most because honestly I would much rather teach a lesson about adjectives than remind them YET AGAIN how to correctly brush their teeth, or push their chair in, or use a napkin, or wash their hands, or throw their trash away. So. Many. Little. Things.

But all of these little things are so, so, very important. Charlotte Mason uses an analogy of laying down train tracks in regard to habit formation. The more we train children in good habits when they are young, the smoother their little train will glide down the tracks later in life.

I don’t know how many times a day I have to say, “Close the door gently!” or “First we close the lid and THEN we flush!” or “Clean your space!” I’m trusting all the veteran moms who swear that one day all of this hard work will pay off. I sure hope so!

So, these are our five things.

Of course we still fit in academic things most days, but even then I stick to just a few minutes and we move on as soon as I sense frustration or restlessness. Math and reading are NOT on the list of priorities right now. The kids are little and we have so much time for alllllllllll the things later.

So when I see all those fabulous activity ideas on Instagram and another amazing homeschool room with a floor to ceiling chalkboard, I will bring myself back to this list.

These are the things we value.

We will never get this time back.

For now, we will fill our days with good books, lots of mud and sand and water and nature, learning the wise words of our Lord, snuggle and cuddle and kiss, and learn what it means to be a good friend and human being.

Everything else can wait.

If you are a fellow homeschooling mama, I would encourage you to come up with your own "Rule of __" list, too.

What your family values is most important and your homeschool is just that--YOURS! And you are doing a FANTASTIC job!