A Confession and a Strategy

The confession:

So, when I started this blog I had all the high hopes of sharing things in a wonderfully organized way- but the reality is that my life right now is just not going to allow for that!

I started this blog because I wanted a way to share all the things I'm learning and experiencing and hopefully pass on some wisdom that can help other mamas in the trenches right now, so I realized that if I'm going to do that, I'm going to have to do it in a very random way that is against everything my organized self wants it to be!

I started sharing visual plans at the beginning of February with the intention of doing that weekly. Nope. Didn't happen.

I shared a TEKS document for science with the intention of sharing the social studies document soon after. Nope. I haven't done it yet!

I shared a document summarizing things I learned from the Wild Things book with the intention of sharing the one from the next stage soon. Nope. I haven't done it yet!

And my latest idea was to share a whole series of posts in which I share strategies I find myself using from a book that literally saved my teaching career called Teach Like a Champion. I wanted to make it all organized and neat, like every Tuesday would be "Parent Like a Champion Day" and I would share a strategy. But I'm slowly coming to grips with how my life is at the present moment and the one thing that is staying consistent, is the LACK of consistency.

I realized that this book has a LOT to offer to parenting, even though it is written for classroom teachers. It's literally a gold mine. He has lots of specific, concrete strategies that he names with catchy phrases that stick in your memory and practical ways to apply them. Like I said, gold mine.

The Strategy

So, with all that being said (and that takes a lot of pride-swallowing for me), I present to you a strategy that I find myself using a lot lately from this book that saved my butt when I was teaching: 100 Percent.

(I hope to eventually do a post explaining just how valuable this book is and how it isn't just for classroom teachers, but for parents, too, since parents ARE the most important teachers. But for now, I'll just describe the strategy)

The gist is this: If you set an expectation for your child, you should enforce it 100 percent of the time. Any lack of enforcement or "letting things slide" is inadvertently sending the message that you aren't really serious about holding the child to that standard and that it must really not be that important in the first place. It leaves the child room to think, "Do I really have to do it every time? Is it okay not to do it today?"

Think things like closing the door gently, saying "Yes ma'am" and "No ma'am," throwing trash away, using a fork correctly, the list goes on and on.

Once the child knows how to do it correctly and the expectation is set that they are expected to do that thing, it's now on us to enforce it. Every time. Every. Single. Time.

And if you have more than one child (or student) than the 100 Percent rule also applies to the number of children correctly completing that expectation. So, since I have two children who are expected to clean their space after mealtimes, I have to pay attention that each child is doing it 100 percent of the way, 100 percent of the time.

Exhausting. I know.

But so, so, so important.

Keeping our behavioral expectations high not only creates an environment of order and lets children know that our authority is not up for interpretation, but more importantly, it helps them create habits for themselves that will make their lives easier down the road.

So long after one of the kids has left the table and I find a lone fork on the floor, that phrase "100 Percent" immediately pops in my head and I have a choice. I can bend down and pick up the fork myself, or I can call the child back and require them to pick it up and take it to the sink.

And I silently curse the strategy. LOL!

Of course, I sometimes just pick up the fork to save myself the battle, but in doing so, I KNOW that I am not upholding the standard. I'm human, they are human, and sometimes it's easier to just pick up the dang fork and move on. BUT, for most of the time, most of the day, I am motivated to stick to this 100 Percent rule. I know it's what's best for all of us.

Here's what the author of the book, Doug Lemov, has to say about this (the words 'student' and 'teacher' are interchangeable with 'child' and 'parent'):

"The most sustainable from of compliance is one that for both students and teachers is clearly an exercise that will help students achieve, not an empty exercise in teacher power."

"Excellence is the habit: what you do, you should do well, and the easiest way to do it well is to do it well every time."

There is so much more to unpack with this specific strategy and like anything else, its effectiveness has a lot to do with your delivery. You can require compliance in a positive, upbeat way without coming across like a power-hungry authoritarian.

This is about love, not control.

We love our kids and want the best for them, and having high expectations is a way we love them.

I would encourage you to sit down and take some time to think about the things at this stage of your child's development that are worth applying the 100 Percent rule to. Flushing the toilet? Taking out the trash at the assigned time? Taking their dishes to the sink? What's worth putting in the energy for will vary from age to stage, but it's worth taking time to think about.

Here are the things that I'm choosing to apply this standard for right now:

-Saying "please" and "thank you"

-Cleaning their space after meal times

-Closing our back glass door gently (I swear that thing is going to shatter one day!)

-Washing hands before meals

-Shoes off when we come in the house

There may be things that I'm forgetting at this moment, but this is what came to mind right away. This list will grow longer as they get older, but for right now these things are enough to keep us all on our toes!

I hope you find this helpful!

Happy training! We can do this!